The Morning After

Rejoice always,

 pray without ceasing, 

give thanks in all circumstances; 

for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 

1 Thes 5:16-18

I read this passage the night before the procedure and I was so grateful the Lord led me to it.  Now, i'm not saying that i've been consistently doing all these but it was helpful to know what God's will was for me during this time as i was seeking His specific will and direction about whether or not to have the procedure.

Give thanks in all circumstances is what stood out to me.  I have soooooo much to be thankful for even in the mist of grieving.  I frequently thank God for how wealthy He has made me I am rich with family, friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, my God-fearing husband, 2 year old son, and during this time their value was reconfirmed (no that it needed to be). People who were dedicated to pray, to keep Josiah, to lure me out of the house to get some sunshine, to bring us food, to let me process over the phone, to keep calling and texting even if i didn't answer or respond, who shared their stories of loss with me, who answered their phone at the crack of dawn or late at night., and the people who just made themselves available - i'm just grateful.

Is my heart still sad? - heck yeah
Am i still in process? - for sure

But this morning after, as i lay on the couch writing this post and in the background hear my sweet boy sing as his Dad gets him dressed. As he comes up in between me writing  these two sentences and says "looka mommy" (at his outfit) my heart gives thanks - for this is the will of God.