Its Been A While - I Know

Yes - it has been some time since i have written an update.  I'm happy to say that i have been fine.  Here and there i definitely still experience sadness and wonder if it was a boy or girl, i actually would not want to know for sure, but i wonder.  I wonder how big i would be now.  I hung up my maternity clothes last weekend - even the ones I had when i was pregnant with Josiah - they are all hanging up in my closet to the far left side.  They are in view - my hope is that I will be wearing them in the spring :).

What am i up to now?  Trying to loose weight. We are all friends here - right, and i've never been one to be sensitive about telling people how much i weigh.  I was looking at Josiah's baby book and the records kept when i was going for my regular visits during the pregnancy.  On my first visit I weighed 160.  I presently weigh 185 - you do the math.  If i keep this trend up - well, you can do that math also.  I started going to the gym at our complex last week - please pray that i continue.  Also pray that i would make wise food choices - this is the big thing since i don't have "a  sweet tooth"  i have a "a whole set of sweet teeth" :).

Love Yall and I plan to post some new recipes i'm going to try this week so stop back by :)

Birthday in Review and Fall decor pictures

Yesterday  (my bday) was great! The morning started with Josiah and i laying in the bed singing songs at his request - ABC song, itsy bitsy spider and patty cake - good sweet times. I spent the morning at MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) - its a mom's group that meets every other Tuesday for all the moms involved and have playdates in our small groups on the off Tuesdays.  Yesterday was the large group and we had a speaker on couponing - which was good cause i need a kick in the pants to get back on that.  Anyhoo, while there my sweet friend Melissa gave me a bday card.

Afterwards i took Josiah home and Moe was waiting for me with a birthday gift - a lovely fall plate that you will see in a pic below and a gift card to my favorite local coffee shop (seriously- they make the coffee to order using a pour over technique plus they have some seriously good waffles - amazing) so i was super happy about that.  The man knows what his woman likes :).

I then left cause my sweet friend Lauren made me lunch.  It was some seriously good chicken salad.  She also hand painted - yes people - hand painted a picture frame with a scripture verse. Yep, i cried.

After that I came home and spent some time with my guys, did some crafts (including the wreath in the pic below) and we had (by my request) pizza hut pan pizza - a childhood fav - and ate my little wop-sided cake pic below.  Moe ended the night with a bang by giving me a certificate that had 33 reasons why he loves and likes me - the man hit a home run - i mean knocked it out of the park :).

In between all these activities i talked with all my brothers and sisters, dear friends, got texts, a supreme amount of facebook shot outs, and a phone call from my Mom at the time i was born and she sang "you r my sunshine" and "have i told u lately that i love you".  Am i wealthy or what!

Josiah with our first ever pumpkin and fall mums we got from the farmers market on Saturday

The fall wreath i made yesterday. I bought the twig wreath from Michael's and just stuck the waxed leaves i already had in the wreath - super easy.  You can also buy leaves like this at a craft store.  Stay tuned - i may stick a turkey in it for Nov - then take the leaves out and put berries around it for Christmas - Oh the possibilities :).

Our Fall door all put together - i like it.  Its my first time doing one.

Last but not least my bday cake - strawberry with strawberry cream cheese icing.  I made a small one  for us and used the rest of the batter for cupcakes for my women's small group and a girl at church whose bday is Thursday.  This was a great idea for our fam cause we would never eat awhole cake on our own (or shouldn't :)) - an opp to share the cake love.
Oh, check our the platter with the candle on it that Moe got me for my bday!

The great thing about my bday is that its all month - friends and family will be mailing cards and gifts out all month - and even next. - Gotta love it!  Thanks Yall

Its My Birthday!

Yep today i turned 33 - yay!  It was such a good day - going to blog about it tomorrow with pictures :).  Tonight I want to celebrate and confess:  celebrate that this weekend i did get out of the house and go to the farmers market and get a pumpkin and flowers.  I also made my birthday cake - strawberry - super yummy (pictures of both to come).  But i have to confess that i have not put away my maternity clothes.  I'm not sure why.  Some of them i'm wondering if i want to take back to the store because they are cold weather maternity clothes and I don't know what God's will is for when we will have another baby.  On the other hand this could be me stalling or procrastinating. In Process.

Saturday Morning Ramblings

Its early Saturday morning and im strangely feeling a tad bit nauseated.  I'm not sure if the preg hormones are still at work or if its the medication i'm taking to help prevent infection after the procedure. Oh by the way - i've been calling it "the procedure" but its called a D&C which stands for dilation and curettage (google it :).
I've decided that today is the day to put away my maternity clothes - this does not mean we will not try again but it will be a minute so pray for me in that.

 I'm looking forward to the rest of the day - we are going to the farmers market with some friends and i plan to get a pumpkin - we never get a pumpkin - but i'm super excited. It will be good to get out the house. I'm also thinking i'm going to make my birthday cake - i always do - its kinda like my birthday tradition but even before the miscarriage I really wasn't in the mood. But i think i am today.

BTW - my birthday is Tuesday and i will be 33!  Hey family if you happen to be reading this post and you are maybe wondering what to get me (wink wink) Target gift cards will do just fine - I'm saving up for a big purchase that begins with an "I" and ends with a "pad" :).  Why Target - long story.

Anyhoo, it feels good to make jokes and laugh even in a post on this blog - i hope you are smiling with me.  Another reason to smile this morn - As i write this post my lil dude is playing with his train set and he is talking up a storm - i have no idea what the boy is saying cause all the words don't come out in complete sentences or thoughts but it still makes me smile.

Well, guess i should go - the nausea is getting worse - so should probably lay down.  Continue to pray that i keep smiling (and crying when need to). Hope to post pics of our day out and the bday cake if it happens :).

Love yall to pieces

The Morning After

Rejoice always,

 pray without ceasing, 

give thanks in all circumstances; 

for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 

1 Thes 5:16-18

I read this passage the night before the procedure and I was so grateful the Lord led me to it.  Now, i'm not saying that i've been consistently doing all these but it was helpful to know what God's will was for me during this time as i was seeking His specific will and direction about whether or not to have the procedure.

Give thanks in all circumstances is what stood out to me.  I have soooooo much to be thankful for even in the mist of grieving.  I frequently thank God for how wealthy He has made me I am rich with family, friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, my God-fearing husband, 2 year old son, and during this time their value was reconfirmed (no that it needed to be). People who were dedicated to pray, to keep Josiah, to lure me out of the house to get some sunshine, to bring us food, to let me process over the phone, to keep calling and texting even if i didn't answer or respond, who shared their stories of loss with me, who answered their phone at the crack of dawn or late at night., and the people who just made themselves available - i'm just grateful.

Is my heart still sad? - heck yeah
Am i still in process? - for sure

But this morning after, as i lay on the couch writing this post and in the background hear my sweet boy sing as his Dad gets him dressed. As he comes up in between me writing  these two sentences and says "looka mommy" (at his outfit) my heart gives thanks - for this is the will of God.

Tomorrow

I have avoided this post.  I don't have many words - just tears that i've been holding back all day.  God knows best.  I will prayerfully arrive at the hospital in the morning by 8am and the procedure will begin at 10.  Prayers are desperately needed. Love yall

Trusting God

Hard -that was my day in one word.  I cried a lot and didn't want to talk much about it.  Why? Wednesday is almost here and i am dreading having the procedure done.  My hope was that the miscarriage would pass and I wouldn't have to go but its Monday night and still nothing not even spotting.  I said from the jump that i wanted to trust God with this - that He knows what i need and what i can handle emotionally.  Pray that i continue to trust God.  Also, the weather is changing so i feel like i could be coming down with something.:(

Song on My Heart

The song "Blessed be Your Name" is one of the songs that has been on my heart since we found out we lost the baby.  This is the song I sing by faith even if I don't feel feel it.


Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name


Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name


Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name


Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name


Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name


Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name

A Time To Mourn

  It is with great pain in our hearts that we write this post.  We hoped we would be writing to announce that we were pregnant after hearing the heartbeat on Wednesday but during the ultrasound they found no heartbeat and we were (with care) told that the baby had stopped growing around week 6 or 7 (this was a 9 wk appointment).

We are deeply sad yet definitely feeling God’s peace. My body has not recognized the miscarriage yet so we are praying that the process will happen this weekend.  If not, we have a scheduled appointment for Wednesday at 10am for a procedure.  We would like for it to happen on its own but we want to trust God’s sovereignty with what will be best for my body and our emotions.  Your prayers are truly appreciated during this time.

So what now?
Grieving.
Trusting God.
 Healing.

I plan to write everyday of this month whether it is 3 paragraphs or 2 sentences - the goal is to write something.  Here are some of the reasons:
1. I hope it will be an outlet for me and help in the healing process to write
2. It will let friends and family know how we're doing and what we are doing
3.  Give friends and family a place to write back or ask us questions

So thats the plan.  I will - especially the next few days - talk about how we are doing in regards to our loss but not every post will be about that.  I honestly couldn't take to write about it everyday.  Please pray for us as God brings us to mind.

On The Road - Part 2: Getting There is Half the Fun!

Sometimes that statement is very true - and other times, not so much :).  We're happy to say that for us is was a good time.  What made it so great was spending time with good friends.  We spent two days with Kim and Reggie.  We all dated around the same time, got engaged around the same time, and god married about a month apart.  Here's a picture of the four of us during a Impact Staff Retreat (they both did a Fellowship with Impact - Reggie in South Africa and Kim in Orlando), when we were all engaged.

Now we are married and are the god parents of each others sons.  Here are pics of our two young men together during our visit.

We had a good time catching up on what God is doing in our lives.  We also, as we always do, broke bread.  Moe and Kim prepared this grand Asian inspired feast of lettuce wraps (Moe), pot stickers (Kim) and coconut rice (Moe). It was sooooo good!

The morning after this great meal we got back on the road and headed to Kansas City, MO.  We past through St. Louis and took this pic as proof.

Wish we could have stopped but onward we drove til we arrived in Kansas City (we only made one stop - can you believe it).  Thanks to a great deal we were able to stay in a hotel Thursday night then we headed on to Ft. Collins, CO where we arrived safely around 3pm.  Thanks so much for your prayers!  We will update you soon on how our first couple days here went so stay tuned.  We start classes tomorrow and Josiah starts childcare so pray for him and us as we adjust to a new schedule and a new time zone (Josiah woke up at 4am mountain time our first morning here).

On The Road - Part 1: The Good, Bad, & The Ugly

Yep, we experienced it all on our first leg of the trip!  All three emotions from Josiah at various times but we made it to Spring Hill, TN! (a city right outside of Nashville).  We are staying with our wonderful friends Kim and Reggie, who are also Josiah's god parents and we are the god parents of their adorable son, Enoch. We are headed to Ft. Collins,CO where we will be in training for four weeks. Moe will go through Missional Team Leader Training that will equip him even the more to lead our team in reaching the lost on the college campuses in the 7 states we cover.  I (Sandy) will take two classes - Biblical Interpretation and Biblical Communication, they are part of the many classes we as staff must take that will aid our growth in being better communicaters of the gospel and grow our relationship with God. 
Below is a picture of one of the books i have to read for the class. I was doing some reading while Moe was driving (he drove the whole 9+ hrs)

 Please pray as we continue our trip Thursday morning heading to Kansas City, MO.
View the map below to see the ground we will cover by Friday.

View Larger Map

Moving - i do not like it :(

I always remember how much i don't like it in the mist of doing it.  Our home right now, as I type this post, is filled with packed boxes, bags, and things that need to be put in boxes or bags.  On friday we get the keys to our new apartment and on saturday morn i will take Josiah to a sweet friends house for her to watch him and i will head to clean our new apartment while the men folk load our things into a Uhaul.  Afterward, they will unload the truck and i (along with friends that I will love forever) will begin a journey, of at least a week, of unpacking.  I sooooo want to be excited about this but a sista is tired - so pray my strength.

However, I am excited about this great place the Lord has provided us with and I'm excited about this blank canvas that i will get to decorate on a budget (one of my hobbies).  I'm excited about downsizing since the apartment is smaller. We have and are giving away so much stuff but i think i will upack things, realized there is no place for it and give away more stuff. Pray for strength to just let go of stuff.

Oh! - we celebrated something really fab last week -"Our 4 year Anniversary".  Here's a pic of us after a date to a tapas restaurant (on Sundays they have 1/2 off). Yes we look tired - can you imagine celebrating your anniversary in the mist of a move -crazziness, but we made it happen and had fun.

Whats been up?

Oh yes its been super busy around here at the Hafeez House.  We had a training time for the college students involved in our ministry over a weekend followed by a training time for ministry volunteers.
The next week we headed to FL for a Staff Women's Retreat and afterwards our Impact Staff Conference.  It was a great time seeing friends and reconnecting with them.  We also had lots of fun on the beach!  As great as it all was, its good to be home.  But being home means packing time - cause as i mentioned in the last post - we're moving.
Enjoy the pictures from the student training time, women's retreat, and fun on the beach.

Students who participated in the our regional Impact Leadership Institute

Dear Mom friends - we got together at the start of our time in Orlando - these women inspire me!

These beautiful women are the women of the Impact Movement.  I helped to lead the charge in planning our Women's Retreat.  This is a pic of all of us at the black and white party we had during the Retreat.  The Lady with the adorable baby in her arms (who happens to be our god son) was our guest speaker - Kimberly Gillespie, amazing job.

After our retreat we had our Impact Staff  Conference in the same hotel.  This a pic of my lil' dude headed to child care so Mommy and Daddy could enjoy a challenging word from our guest speaker - James White.

During down time we hung out at the beach.  It was fun!

"No time for pictures when there is sand to shovel!"

Family Update: God Had Something For Us!

So it is almost official - we have a home to move into in May!  On Monday we drove around and looked at townhomes then headed back to one of the apartment complexes we visited the previous Friday.  There waiting was the apartment we needed at a price that only God could have orchestrated for us.  We went back today and turned in our application and the lady told us the prices went up by $50 today (they are on some daily pricing system), however our quote was good for 48hrs Yippee!

Thanks for your prayers!

Family Times: A Place to Call Home

When we moved to our current apartment in Jan 2010 we found it during a Dec visit and it was an amazing location at a amazing price so we got it. But since moving we have found a church family, friends, pediatrician, and a great Mom's group that are at least 15 - 20 minutes away - we want to move on that side of town.  The price here has not stayed amazing either! We began looking this past Friday at other apartments and weeks ago (for me its been months) at Townhomes.
I am not good with lots of options :) so pray for us as we look more today.  I really have been anxious about this and so tempted to figure it all out on my own and prone to fear of making the wrong decision, but my hearts desires and the Word tells me to trust God.  In preparing for a women's small group tonight (reading "Calm My Anxious Heart") the following scripture really challenged and encouraged me.  
I hope that you would pray this scripture for me as i will be praying it be true for you - the part about being the blessed man (not the cursed :) ).
 Question: What do you think it means to be a person who trusts in the Lord and whose trust is the Lord (vs.7) and what is the difference between the two - or is there a difference?

Jeremiah 17:5-8 (English Standard Version)

 ⁵Thus says the LORD:"Cursed is the man who trusts in man

   and makes flesh his strength,

   whose heart turns away from the LORD.

⁶ He is like a shrub in the desert,

    and shall not see any good come.

He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,

   in an uninhabited salt land.

 ⁷"Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,

    whose trust is the LORD.

⁸ He is like a tree planted by water,

   that sends out its roots by the stream,

and does not fear when heat comes,

   for its leaves remain green,

and is not anxious in the year of drought,

   for it does not cease to bear fruit."

Update: How the dating panel went

"My Dad wasn't a believer when my parents got married but eventually came to Christ, so we should be open to all people and give them a chance."

"My sister dates a muslim and she is a Christian but they believe in the same God"

"Well, the Bible and what it says is interpreted in different ways"

These are loose quotes (cause my memory isn't that great) of what a few people said during the dating panel. Can you believe i actually said "Don't look at me like i'm pathetic, the book (Bible) said it" during the panel (a favorite line of mine from a crossmovement song).  Wow!  But i just couldn't hold it in. Its so hard to be on a panel and hear the opinions of people when the Word of God is clear - there is no negotiation if you are a Christ follower - period.

At the same time, I am reminded that in these times I must preach the gospel to others as well as myself because if not for it I could have the same mindset.  Also the gospel reminds me that "my identity and self-worth are centered on the one who died for me.  I am saved by sheer grace, so I can't look down on others. Only by grace am I what I am" - quote taken partially taken from a book Moe and I are going through together "Gospel in Life" by Timothy Keller - Its Rocking our World. I trust in what God allowed me to say in response to these comments, and it helps that Yana (young lady on our team) affirmed the responses afterward.  Moe was taking care of an overtired Josiah (it was past his bedtime) so he was unable to be at the panel for the entire time.  Thanks so much for your prayers and advice!

Please pray for the students at this panel that they would truly grasp the gospel, the truth of God's Word, and grow in it.

What are your thoughts?  How have you been responding lately to the immorality or way of thinking of others?

We're Home! Pictures From the South Carolina Visit

Announcement:  Now you can get email alerts when we post.  Just put your email address in the space in the top left sidebar and click submit. (It would be so encouraging to us to know you're listening reading and praying!)

Yes! We are home, and would like to say that we are all enjoying a restful Saturday but Moe has two meetings today - bummer (but all for good causes). Anyhoo, Below are a few pictures and prayer requests from our campus visits.

At Clemson spent time with Stephanie.  She is on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ and helping Impact grow.

Pray for her and the ministry at Clemson - that God would raise up another student leader.

Got to spend time with Briana (pictured in the middle)who is the daughter of  fellow Impact Staffers.  She runs track at Clemson.  Pray for her as God uses her to reach out to her teammates.

After Clemson we headed to USC.  This is Mr. Josiah who fell asleep in the mist of creating his masterpiece on the etch and sketch :) the kid was tired!

Once at the University of South Carolina we attended their weekly prayer time. Its so encouraging to see them make prayer a priority in reaching their campus for Christ - Praise God for that!

After the prayer time we ate lunch and went out sharing the Gospel on campus.  Honestly i was not in the mood.  Thankfully Moe and Yana gave me the nudge i needed (Moe by suggesting that i go and Yana volunteering to watch Josiah), i ventured off with this bright young lady who is in grad school there. I am so glad i did!  We had a great time talking with the 3 young women we approached.  Pray for those women that they would fully grasp the gospel.  Also pray for Crystal (in picture) as she desires to share the gospel more with people in  her sphere of influence.

 Thanks so much for your prayers during the week and the advice and prayers about the dating panel i was on.  I will post on how that went in the coming week - that will take about two paragraphs alone :).

Do you have any questions about our time?  Comment and ask.

Sandy's On a Dating Panel Tonight!

This is our second time posting so that is pretty exciting - at some point i plan to get over it (the fact that we finally have a family/ministry blog) but today is not that day.  I'm not quite ready for the newness to wear off.

Anyway, the reason i'm writing is for a quick update and request prayer.  Today is the last day of our coaching trip and it has been really great (check back Saturday for pictures - i forgot the camera cord to download the pics).  We spent the first half of our trip at Clemson and Lander.  Now we are at USC. We went out sharing the gospel there yesterday and we head back to campus this evening.  I really need your prayer because I've been asked to be on a dating panel that a sorority is sponsoring tonight - craziness. 
So pray

- I would be well rested (i'm a bit tired)

- I would use wisdom in my words

- I would be filled with the Holy Spirit
- If you think of me at around 7:22pm (eastern time) - just pray 
Questions:  What are some issues u think will be brought up? What are major things you think i should make a point to say?  Any suggestions or advice?

Posting for the first TIME!

Yep, that's what i came up with as the first title for the first post on our blog.  Not that creative but i think it will work.  Now, after a title like that what does one write about? Anything. Cool.
(a couple minutes later)
(inserting subtitle :) )
ITS TIME FOR ANOTHER COACHING TRIP

Today our team (Impact Movement Southeast Team) will load up a small compact rental car and head to South Carolina to visit our Campuses there. Pray for us!

That's it - did i mention that i am not much of a writer.  That's why I'm so glad that's not the ultimate goal of this blog - to write a lot :) (we're talkers) - the goal is to share our Times (home, family, ministry) with you, to update, seek out prayer, sometimes ask for advise, celebrate, share praise reports, and occasionally to entertain or just make you smile. Hopefully we can do that in 2 or fewer paragraphs and some pictures. Speaking of pictures, it is a must that i have one in this post, it being the first and all. So here's a picture of our team (Impact Southeast Regional Team) . . .


Even Josiah is a part of the team and going on the coaching trip with us!  Did i mention we need prayer.

Pray for . . .

- safe travel

- great times with students on campuses (Clemson, Lander, and University of South Carolina)

- God's leading as we share the gospel

- Josiah will travel well, and adjust to the different places we stay on this missional journey

Thanks so much! Come back ya hear - there will be updates about our time there!

Whew, that's done - i was a bit nervous about this first post but i think that went OK. Yes, No, Maybe? Comment and let me know.  Also, let me know some of the things you would like us to write about or things you want to know.  This is a dialog - we want to hear your responses and answer your questions.

Sandy